Does it ever piss you off that politics consists primarily of two disillusioned groups of allied rich men yelling at each other while at the same time making decisions vital to our country (unless they happen to be voting for a raise in their pay)?  Why are elections always a face-off between two millionares, one claiming to be from one cult, one from another? Yes, you guessed it, I am talking about the Democrats and the Republicans. If you happen to have the exact same values as one of these two parties, then you have no problem with our electoral college; vote for one dude and yell shit at the other. But what if you don't happen like either of the parties? Not everyone has rigidly defined beliefs, and not everyone falls into one of two categories (namely conservative or liberal). What if you happen to be pro-abortion but also believe in making tax cuts? Well, we have freedom in America, so you can run for president and make those changes. Oh, wait. You weren't born into excessive luxury and wealth, nor are you a white male. Too bad. Well, you figure the next best thing is to vote for someone who has the same beliefs as you do. You stroll up to the voting booth and look at the ballot. Let's see...Fat, environment-destroying conservative Texan with a barely understandable twang and an even less understandable logic(No)...Crazy liberal advocating pro-choice on the issue of suicide for children (No)...huh? No one else to vote for!!?! WHAT THE FUCK!!!?

The problem is that we only have two parties to vote for. If you don't happen to agree with either, you get left out of the whole rights-and-representation-for-everyone deal that's promised by the American Constitution (or at least implied). It's as simple as that. The solution is also simple: We need more parties to vote for, so that the American people can vote for someone they truly like. Getting to the solution won't be easy, but I'm too tired to type anymore, so there you have it.

As you have just seen, even the tiniest of issues that spring up during election year have rather unpleasant complications and consequences, but there are far more problems with our election system than these small contradictions and hypocrisies. Putting these aside, there are a few core problems with our electoral system. First, what is up with the way candidates are selected? It seems that the only way you can be a (viable) candidate is by being a rich white Christian man who has served in the military and whose father was the King of Enlgland (or a politician). Is this the only demographic that is fit to rule our country? Do women, African-Americans, Asians, Hispanics, working-class people, pacifists, and pretty much anyone not falling into the above-mentioned groups  not have the capabilities to be a president? the time? the desire? Or maybe it's just the lack of money. How is this any different from the heirichal [yes, I know I spelled that wrong] society that has been established thoughout history? One might recall the Estates in Medeival France, the feudal system of Japan, or any the countless such societies that have dictated the governing systems of thousands of nations. Yes, I realize, that today's politicians preach equality, justice, and this that and the other thing, but there is nothing more a pure lust for power in the politician's beady eyes. Do you think any one of them could say that they are running "for the good of the people" while keeping a straight face? No wonder they are always smiling.

Now that the kind of people that are running for people have been stipulated, let's examine how the media helps them run their campaigns. The media, wanting to keep up with the falling IQ of the average American, has found a very easy way in selecting which candidate will win the election. (Oops -  for the politically correct, it's called "coverage"). They have simply decided that the candidate with the shortest last name will get the most favorable news coverage (that's a wee bit of an understatement), and thereby win the election because he's the only candidate people actually know anything about. Don't believe me, you say? First let's examine the election of 2000. The Republican party candidate was going to either be Bush (4 letters) or McCain (6 letters). Guess who ended up winning out for no apparent reason? You guessed it: The guy with the shorter last name. Next up is the Democratic Party. Who gets selected? Gore. Can you say "Four Letters"? You might also note that the election of 2000 was the closest election in US history. Again: The Short-Name Syndrome. Now, we'll look at this year's election. On one side, we have Bush, whose chances look pretty good for reelection, so we don't have to worry about Republicans. Next, the Democrats. Our first president-to-be was Dean. An what do know, who has the shortest last name of all of them? What a coincidence. Dean messes up (like a lot random rich dumbasses tend to do) and the media decides that no president should be allowed to yell. So Dean's out the window. When was the last time you heard him mentioned in the news? Not much, I can assure you of that. So the media picks the guy with the next shortest name, Kerry. It's two syllables, but what the heck, he'll do. So there you have it: Kerry is now miraculously front-runner for the Democratic party. The media gets away with some fantastic bullshit.